I’ve suddenly realized that I’ve never done anything. Never went to college. Never protested. Never joined the armed forces or went to war. I grew up in a small town, attended a small school and remember thinking none of my classmates ever smoked weed. We were mostly innocent country hicks sheltered from the harsh reality of life. There was nothing to do. No learning or buying anything from “the streets.” Then a friend told me he could spot someone who is “high” a mile away. So I said go right ahead. He began pointing his finger as students walked in and out of the cafeteria.
I was so ignorant. Never smoked pot, never took any recreational drugs. No making out in the backseat of a car. Didn’t smoke or drink, although I did try vodka once when I was in my 20s. Downed it so fast trying to be a real man that I got so sick and puked up every last bit of it. I lay on the living room floor and called up a lady friend, sounding so wino and sappy like it was my last day on this earth.
I had a buddy who used to go to a nudist colony. He acted like it was so exotic and sacred and secret that he wouldn’t divulge the location. But an old girlfriend knew exactly where it was. She spent part of her youth living there with her mother, step father and sister. They did these annual beauty pageants of adolescent girls. She even showed me photographs. This was long before she and her mom became Jehovah’s Witnesses. She said the commune lifestyle was when they were sinners.
As if one can choose to stop sinning.