Dreaming About Joy Behar… Seriously?

I had a dream that Joy Behar kicked me off her show. She didn't want me to be a guest anymore on The View. She said I was too polite and clean with every hair follicle in place. It made her look bad, like a poor slob. Whoopie said she wanted to go home with …

Lizzie Borden Really Did It!

(The story below is completely fictitious, but is similar to what you may see on some paranormal TV shows) Don and Bob are Paranormal Investigators. They are in Fall River, Massachusetts at the Lizzie Borden house. Bob is looking at photos. Mr. Borden is sprawled out on a couch. Mrs. Borden is lying down on …

Dr. Phil And Cuban Cigars

Dr. Phil, the psychologist and TV talk show host, says that marriage is not 50/50, but that couples should give 100%. I think that’s a tad unrealistic. I don't know about you, but I'm a flawed human being with unpredictable mood swings, all depending on my testosterone level that day. The older I get, the …

The Battle At “Kitchen Sink”

This is going to sound crazy and may even put me at risk of sounding like a fool, but I enjoy washing the dishes. I really do! No dishwasher for me. Not allowed in my kitchen! I like the feel of my hands in water. The sound it makes and the swirling bubbles. Reminds me …

Old Married Couple

A man is eating bacon and eggs in front of the TV when the phone rings. "Hello?" He hears nothing on the other end except for light breathing. He quickly hangs up. Two and a half minutes later the phone rings again. "Yello?" he garbles with egg dripping down his chin. "Uh, Louise?" "Do I …

Dreaming About Meryl Streep

Last night I had a dream about Meryl Streep. We were playing a board game. It was similar to Scrabble in that it had wood letter tiles. Meryl didn’t really want to play, so she let me win. She was more interested in talking about religion and politics. She was thinking about voting for Rosanne …